Feeling bad
by Nr.Six
Summary: Camerons 'thought's' while she is cleaning the floor in the second episode and not paying attention to Sara.


Hi everyone, this is a bit a new chapter for my other story 'emotions.' But because that was meant to be a bit funny, I didn't think this story would fit very good with it. So I made it a new story. It's based on the new season 2, the first and second episode. I took some scenes out of it for my story.

This story is just something I wanted to try after seeing those episodes.

Terminator is not mine obviously.

Explanation lettertype:

**Cameron is having a flashback in her memory**

_Cameron is thinking_

-Camerons sees orders in front of her eyes in sentences-

I hope it isn't to confusing, but didn't know how to put it better otherwise.

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**Feeling bad **

-Clean the floor-

The mop will clean the stains on the plants floor.

A biological, human woman would clench her teeth right now. She would become angry with herself. But Cameron didn't. She just did her current job. She cleaned the floor.

She put the mop back in the bucket to wet it again.

She didn't clench her teeth. It was bad for the human teeth too. Humans did so many things that were bad for their bodies. _Why?_

**Terminate John Connor. **

**The red letters had flashed in front of her eyes. As an order. And she had obeyed.**

The mop landed on a new stain.

-Clean the floor-

-She-, the one that was chosen by Future John had obeyed a malfunction in her head to change her assignement and to kill the one person that was the most important to her.

She deserved to be terminated. The second she had turned against him.

She had stopped imitating people since the incident. She had given up to even try and mimic them. She did not care about that anymore.

No, she was busy with something else. Something she didn't know yet. Something that was bad for her programs, for her mission. Something that humans did too, and that was bad for their minds and their bodies.

FEELING GUILTY. And therefor, FEELING BAD.

Maybe she did understand why humans did things that were bad for themselves and their bodies.

Future-John must have programmed that program in her. She did not understand why. She did not understand what these programs could bring besides negative things.

She was a machine. She didn't feel. She didn't need to feel. She couldn't feel. That was how it was supposed to be. _Right?_

'**I love you John!' She had called to him.**

Not possible. She couldn't feel, therefor not love. She was just a machine. She would be terminated if her mission was complete.

She moved the bucket and began to mop a new stain on the floor.

-Clean the floor-

-Mob the floor-

-Make the floor spotless-

_Why did humans have so many words and sentences for just the same thing? Why did they feel annoying things? What purpose was there for that?_

She did not understand.

She would go and read new psychological books when they were at the new house again. She would find out. There had to be a purpose.

She looked in the bucket and saw her image reflected in the dirty water. The cold, mimicless look on her face was back. She would look cold to others with that face. Cold and uninterested. That was what she had read in one of her psychological books. If humans didn't move parts of their face when they were listening, they seemed uninterested.

But she had stopped reading.

She had stopped doing a lot of things. She was punishing herself.

_But could a machine really punish itself? Could a machine think and doubt? Could a machine…._

_Could it…._

_Love? _

-Clean the floor-

The machine had chosen to use every program it had in it's metallic head to convince John Connor not to kill it. And it had succeeded.

John went alone to school now.

And some other thing happened to Cameron. Next to the new program she hated, the feeling-guilty program. Another new program seemed to exist in her head. She missed going to school. She couldn't learn as much as she had there. She couldn't keep her eyes on John. She missed going to school. She did not see him a lot of hours of the day. She missed things. She missed him.

**Termination override.**

She had changed the program. She had changed the order in her head. There were more things that she could override. She was learning. And she was learning fast.

The machine had made an override. The machine was getting a will of it's own.

"Greenway, he has been replaced by a machine."

**"This is Riley. From school." John had said.**

**"Hi mom." The blonde girl had said.**_ Why had she called Sara mom? She did not understand._

**"Let's talk. You and I." Sarah said when her eyes had slipped shortly over the young girl.**

**Cameron had stepped closer to this girl.**

"Greenway has control of the plant and he's a machine."

**She was smaller then her. Her eyes were light. Her hair was blond. Men liked blonde woman. She had read that. She did not understand why. She studied Riley's blond hair.** _Why?_

'Did you hear me?!'

**Cameron wanted to understand. She kept looking at the girl, scanning her.**

-Greenway has control of the plant and he's a machine. Terminate Greenway. Take control of the plant-

_John did not miss her? And instead, he came back with another girl. __Another girl? Could she compare herself with a real human girl?_

'Hey!' Sara grabbed her arm.

Cameron looked up. She had already noticed Sara was there, she had already formed a plan.

'You alive in there?!'

Sara should not push her. Not while she was thinking.

'I am thinking about what to do!' Cameron said in a somewhat irritated tone.

'Since when do you do that?!'

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Cameron watched the machine getting shocked in front of her.

-Mission accomplished. Greenway terminated.-

Cameron turned around to see Sara standing there with a gun trained at her.

She knew she couldn't feel. But she felt anger. She was angry at herself. Maybe Future-John had implanted an anger program in her too. Images flashed through her head again.

'**I love you John.' **

She had only said those things to trick him. It had been an almost natural urge, to not be terminated. By no one, not even by John Connor. Ofcourse she had said it to trick him.

Sara obviously thought that she had turned against them again.

Cameron didn't take the trouble to reassure her. _It was to trick him_. Cameron repeated to herself. As if she was trying to reassure herself of something.

'Are you okay?' She heard Sara demand as she still had the weapon trained at Cameron.

Cameron ignored her question as she looked the human woman straight in her eyes as she came closer by the second. She was not okay. All these things going on in her head confused her. Made her seem as if she lost control.

_Did she have a program for love too? She did not dare think such a thing. __But before, she hadn't known about the other programs being there. _

_Riley._

_Control._

'Are you okay?!'

_Why would someone call someone Riley? __Why would someone like someone called Riley?_

She was standing close to Sara now.

'I'm okay.' Cameron said in a loud voice, mimicking Sara's tone. _Control. Ofcourse she could control herself. Soon. Everything would be in order again in her head._

She passed Sara without giving her another look.

_Then why couldn't she let go of the image of John and –her- standing there in the new house?_

_I am okay_

She convinced herself.

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Hope you liked it! I really like the new episodes.

Please review and let me know what you think!! Thanks!


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